I have always loved this poem.  I heard it for the first time some 25 years ago when I was a teenager.  It has proven to be true in so many ways throughout my life.  Whether is was by my actions, in how I treated others, or how others made a difference in my life. 

People come and go for various reasons in our lives.  For me as a child, it was by way of moving around the United States to different places.  Everyone of the places I lived had an incredible impact on the lessons I learned throughout my life to help me become the person I am today.  Tanner, child had the same experience, in moving around a lot when he was little as we were finding our way and our career path in life.  There are many people who crossed our paths who made an difference in Tanner’s life.  We have told you stories for the better and for the worse.  As I think of our Journey we have had in our life with Tourette’s Syndrome,  I get teary eyed thinking of the wonderful families and people who have crossed our path on our journey, and left HUGE footprints on our hearts to help us learn and grow.  I know some it was because it was there life’s work, and their job to diagnosis and treat,  other’s is was their job, and their passion to make a difference in another person’s life,  and yet others had children and family members who were struggling  just as we were, but gave the love and support we needed to make it through to the next level of our Journey.

Today, I received an email from a friend, who offered to donate the last bit of money we needed to reach our goal this week.  It is with a grateful and humble heart that I see the footprints that have been left on our family’s heart on this next leg of our journey.  It was difficult to ask other’s to help us with this leg.  Our Family is not one to ask for money, but in our current situation, there really was no other way to reach our goal, and help fulfil Tanner’s dream.  I didn’t want to have to tell him one more time; we didn’t have the money.    I also wanted to make sure Tanner understood the value of gratitude, and expressing his appreciation to all the people who have stepped forward to help us.  He has done a wonderful job of doing just that by making a big effort to see where we were at each week and make sure to write a thank you note to each and every person.

We are incredibly lucky to have been given this opportunity, but to also have such wonderful friends and collegues, who have made sacrifices along with us, to help us on our way.  We have been overwhelmed with the generosity, kindness and love you have all shown to us.  Your concern to make sure we reached our goal, and your support to encourage Tanner on his next leg of the race. 

Thank you so much for making such a difference in our lives,

  for leaving this HUGE footprint on our hearts,

 and please know,

we will never, ever be the same again.

Our Special Thanks goes out to-

Karena Lapray- A Pleasant Sunday

Krueger Insurance Agency

Angela Tippets- Scentsy Wickless Candles
Horan Associates
Gina Prickel -Sibcy Cline Realtors
Martha Newberry- Scentsy Wickless Candles
Matt Schuster- First National Merchant Solutions
Brandon Allen
Bob and Virginia Baker
Bruce & Kathy Holtgren
MaryAnne Weber
Kaufmann Family
Garvie Family
Talbert Family
Jensen Family
Stansbury Family
Snowden Family
Coss Family
Dodge Family
Husted Family
Dalziel Family
Breinholt Family

 O’Neal Family

Be Thou an Example of Believers

I was very touched when I saw this video on You Tube,  mostly because I always hope for people to “GET IT” when it comes to understanding other’s with disabilities.  This video was a great example of how the youth can have a very powerful voice in a word of competition, and sports.  It is wonderful to see good deeds, and compassion come in to play in an important moment in a girls life. 

This video is and example of  what I have tried to focus on in my business and also in my life as a mother and advocate for those with disabilities.  Tanner and I have spoken many times of the moments that are given to people to make a choice, to be compassionate and understanding about a person’s disability, or make the choice to turn away or make fun of someone because of their disability.  Everyone has a choice on how they will react.  I wonder how many of us have thought through the complete experience of “What will I do if this situation every presented itself?”

Although I am focusing on the aspect of a person with a disability,  this principle of extending empathy and compassion to another human being doesn’t just apply to those with a disability.  It can apply in a normal life circumstance to any other person we come into contact with; whether that is an elderly person, child, or another adult.  You need to ask your self,  what should I do?

Tanner and I have spent many hours role playing and talking about how to handle different situations.  Tanner was very aware that once it was public about his Tourette’s Syndrome, and his tics,  he would have situations he would need to address with other people.  He had a choice at that moment as well.  He could choose to be angry and defensive about their comments, or he could choose to make the situation benefit him and create an opportunity for someone else to understand what he had to deal with on a daily basis.  Tanner chose the road of humor, joking about his tics, to lighten moments, and fend off the teasing.  He chose to not be offended, by those who didn’t understand.  It didn’t always work the way we have practiced, and sometimes there were those kids who just didn’t know when to quit, and feelings got hurt.  However, I think the triumph of knowing he can be a winner, and make a difference always come to play out in the end.

Tanner and I would role play situations that came up often,  usually on the bus, or often in the hallways, when the pressure was on the most.  Isn’t that when bullies seem to want to get their attention is in front of a large crowd?  The benefit of practicing the response is that you are prepared when the attack comes.  Tanner had one particular kid who bugged him constantly in 6th grade about his head twitching tic.  It was a tic that was most annoying to Tanner,  because by the end of the day, his neck would ache and his muscles hurt, and he just wanted to stop and hold his head still for relief.  This particular boy, would come up in the hall, and mimic Tanner’s tic, and call out Tanner’s name.  Tanner came up with the response, to walk up to the kid, and say,  “Hey, if you are wanting to be cool like me,  you need to twitch your head like this, got it? and then add this little jerk into it, and then do that for the next 8 hours, and see how your neck feels.  Remember you can’t stop it, because it’s a tic.  It has to be constantly. Try it out!  Let’s see if you have what it take to have Tourette’s Syndrome!” and Tanner walked away.  The kids in the hall looked at the bully and gave him a bad time, and Tanner didn’t have an issue with that particular boy again.

There have been talks about boundaries and limits, and events where I know a principal was smart enough to pull another bully in his office, and tell him that he crossed the line, with his teasing there were certain things that were okay, and teasing about something someone had no control over was off limits.  I think this applies in many situations whether it is teasing an overweight girl or boy, or making fun of someone on your team that isn’t as good as you.  I would hope that parents and mentors everywhere would want their children to be kind and gracious like the kids were to Brittany at Syracuse High School, being kind in word thought and deed.  Truly in the end, isn’t is all about wanting to feel loved and needed in our life, and making a difference for good.

The next time you are standing in a line or out in public,  take a look around you and see what kind of a difference for good you can make in a person’s life.  It doesn’t have to be a life changing event, just maybe try to hold the door open for someone coming through, say an extra please or thank you so much for your help.  You could even try to smile or look someone in the eye when you speak, send an email to someone you haven’t spoken to for a while, or make a phone call, stop yourself before you make a sarcastic comment about some one’s idiosyncrasy.

How does this apply to FAO Baskets,  we have seen some very thoughtful people.   This week I have send and delivered several items for clients, as a get well from a neighborhood of friends to another, who just went through surgery.  Another sent an apology for messing up an appointment that was scheduled, and most touching was a candy bouquet, shipped to a friend who was going through a rough time.  All are examples of unselfish people trying to make a difference in another’s life.  Thank you for allowing FAO Basket Co the opportunity to assist in those thoughtful moments.

There are only a few more days to make your choices for gifts for your Valentine.  If you need to ship the gift,  the last day to ship to get it there on time would be Thursday.  We ship 2-3 day priority mail, and the average shipping cost is $15 per package, depending on the size.

I thought it would be fun to come up with some Guy Valentine gift ideas.  It is fitting since I do have 4 sons, out of my brood of 5 kids.   I think it is just as important to show the men in your life how much you love them instead of expecting that Valentines Day is the day for them to express to you their love.  I actually like to think of Valentines day as the Day that my husband will Profess his undying love for me.  LOL.  After   17 years of marriage,  I do appreciate ANY attention he may give me.  We laugh that you know it is true love that he still loves me when I am fat, and I still love to rub his bald head.  There’s nothing better! 

So when I found this paper this year,  I had to make something fun out of it and profess my love for my man that is turning 40 this year.  Here is an example of a Paint Can gift, made out of “Old Guys Rule” paper.  Done in classic cars, and with fun classic comments about how “Old Guys rule”  Old School, and Being a classic.  What a great Compliment I think!  (We seem to be okay getting old, and growing old together.)  The empty paint can, ready for you to fill is $25.  If you would like to have gourmet cookies added to fill it, $35.    This theme can also be used in a Candy bouquets, Small $30, Medium $35, Large $40.  It will be embellished with the classic car brads, of a odometer, stick shift and other classic guy stuff.  

If the cans are a bit out of your price range,  you take a look at our Gourmet Cookie Take out Boxes for $15.00-  they are filled with 6 gourmet chocolate chip cookies.    Pictured is a brocade design, however, remember we can customize to be any style you like, fancy or simple.

Still looking for something more budget conscience,  we have our Individually wrapped slider Candy bars, for $4.00 each.  Pictured is a sports theme for Milford High School,  however, we have made these individually for every holiday so far this year.  We will stick a secret message

inside the slider, for you,  they slide the bar open and Voila’ ~ “Happy Valentines Day!

I think we have covered all of our bases in budget limits.  There is something for everyone.  Don’t forget we Deliver also.  If you place your order now, we will offer you free delivery for Valentines, up until Saturday, February 13.  We will not be making deliveries on Sunday.

Don’t forget that all of the profits, from your Valentine orders will go directly to Tanner’s TSA Youth Ambassador fund.  We are 1/2 way to our goal.  We need to raise about $700 more.

And just for Posterity’s sake,  here is my Valentine, then and now!

 It is hard to believe that it has been 6 years since I was diagnosised with Tourette’s Syndrome.    I know when I was first diagnosised in 2003 it seemed like time just stopped.  I was in the 4th grade, and my family had recently moved from Las Vegas, to Columbus, Ohio for my dad’s job.  My mom told me that she knew that the transition would be difficult because change was always hard for me when I was little.  I really liked my routines, and wanted things to be just so.  I had a hard time adjusting to our new home.  Even after a year of being there, I hated school.  I hated going, and it was even worse when I came home.  I would throw big “tantrums” and completely lose it almost as soon as I would get home.  I was usually in some fight on the bus coming home, it didn’t help that it was a 45 minute bus ride.  My mom just decided to come and pick me up from school because it was easier and faster.  This helped for a little bit, but then I would get into the van and completely lose it before I would get home.  We look at that experience now and realize that it was my anxiety, and worries coming out.  It was holding my tics in all day so no one would notice, and then coming home and letting everything HANG OUT- because that was the place I felt most safe.  I think the hardest part for my parents was constantly being blamed for doing everything wrong at home.   When my parents would talk to the teachers they would tell them everything was perfect at school no problems, and so then they would look at us as if we were doing something wrong at home. 

My teacher I had in third grade was wonderful to me and I really enjoyed her a lot.  We will call her Mrs. P.  I liked her so much that when she decided to teach 4th grade, I told my parents I wanted to move up with her.  We thought it would be a good idea so then I would not have to go through the change again, which we all know I don’t like very well.  Mrs. P, was wonderful starting 4th grade right up until my mom shared with her her concerns about my behavior at home, and trying to figure out what was going on at school.  Things turned ugly when my mom shared her concerns and told her we were going to see a therapist to make sure everything was okay, and try to work things out.  Then Mrs. P, decided that I was a behavior problem all the time.

 After learning of my Tourette’s Syndrome,  my parents decided to wait a bit to tell the school since we were starting to have problems and to make sure they “had their ducks in a row”.  Everything came crashing down though, as friend by friend I was excluded from play groups, at school.  I would get put in “time out” or in the corner aways from everyone for making funny noises and disrupting class. Then there was the day we had a really big Math test, and I was so very nervous.  (nerves and tics aren’t good together)  I was having a hard time keeping my grunting noises quiet.  During the test, the more nervous I got the louder my tics were.  Darn it,  I couldn’t keep them in any more.  I was trying so hard, and got really distracted, you can guess I got a D on my test because I was so worried about everyone looking at me because of my noises.  My teacher got mad at me for disturbing everyone, and so I had to move my desk in the corner again away from everyone because I wouldn’t admit that I was doing it on purpose.  You won’t guess what else happened,  my neighbor and really good friend I was sitting next too quit talking to me or coming over to play after that.  She wouldn’t even speak to me at school because she got a C on that Math test.  Mrs. P called my parents to tell them what a disturbance I was and how I (personally) caused her “A” student to get a “C” with all my antics.  (she forgot to mention that she had already put me in the corner for it)  My parents decided they needed to go and talk with my friend ”Jessie’s” parents and explain what happened.  They hadn’t told anyone yet about my diagnosis, but decided to talk to our neighbors anyway.  They thought for sure they would be understanding to what happened since they were teachers, and surely because Jessie and I had been friends since we moved to Ohio,  2nd Grade to be exact.  Well,  you can’t count of the obvious results some times.  Jessie’s parents were really mad about the Math test.  My parents pointed out I did poorly too.  Maybe the kids just didn’t understand the material.  My mom and dad told them that I had been having a rough time, and had recently been diagnosised with Tourette’s Syndrome, and that the noises weren’t on purpose they were tics.  The tics happen when I get nervous.  They also told them they hadn’t shared that information with the school yet and that Mrs. P didn’t know about it just yet.    They just wanted to come and make sure as neighbors that our apology was extended, and they knew how upset I was that Jessie was mad at him.  Of course they said they were okay with it, to my parents, but you know,  they would never speak to them or me again after that.  I never did understand why for a really long time.  How can you when you are 9 and thinking your best friend would understand.  Her parents didn’t tell Jessie I had Tourette’s Syndrome or what it was about.  Her parents told her, that I had Psychological Issues, and to stay away from me because I was a bad influence, and made her get bad grades. 

In my really long story about my experience in Columbus, I had so many questions about why people were the way they were.  I would ask my mom all the time why my teacher didn’t like me anymore.  (that is when she found out I had to move my desk away from everyone to sit in the corner.)  Then came the meeting with our awesome neuro-psychologist, Dr. Steven Guy and the staff at school, everyone that is except Mrs. P.  She didn’t show up that day for the meeting even though she told my parents she would be there.  This was suppose to be the day that we officially announced to everyone that I had Tourette’s Syndrome, and we brought in the expert to explain what it is and how  I needed some extra help in school with certain things.  This was also the meeting where my parents found out that Mrs. P.  This is also the meeting where the principal told us in 40 years of teaching he had NEVER had a student with Tourette’s Syndrome and he thought my mom and dad were making this up to get extra stuff for me, and to make excuses.  My mom told me later she didn’t think Principal L was a very bright man.  He also told her he would help her stick the “For Sale” sign in our yard if it would help us leave the school district. ( I promise this story is for real)

Well, when push came to shove, and my parents started shoving to get the right things in place to help me, and also make Mrs. P be accountable for her actions.  I got shoved right out the door of Mrs. P’s class.   She told everyone in a meeting with the superintendent of the school, that she didn’t want me in her class anymore.  I wasn’t and “A” student anymore, and I was causing too many distractions from her other students that were “A”students.  She accidently said that she had just been letting me draw pictures and sit in the corner doing nothing, so she didn’t have to deal with me.   I got moved into another class for the rest of the year.  It was alright,  hard to change, but good to be away from the kids who called me names in the lunch room, and told me I had “Psychological issues” because Mrs. P said so.  Instead I got to hang out with the other kids who got labeled just like me, as trouble makers,  and problems.  That was okay with me for the time being.  It meant that I was no longer the focus of attention, and there were kids that were a lot worse off than I was. It was the next week that my parents put the “FOR SALE” sign in their own yard, and decided enough was enough, it was time to move on, and we did. 

  Now that I am older and we can look back,  at what I went through in the beginning of my diagnosis,  I realized how important it is to be honest, and have integrity, especially when you are working.  My Mom told me, the saddest part of that experience for her was the reality of an opportunity lost.  It was Mrs. P’s opportunity to make a difference in a little boys life when he needed her the most.  All I needed was to be loved, and understood.  I remember  asking why Mrs. P didn’t like me anymore.  I still cared about her a lot, and after I left her class,  she wouldn’t even say “Hi” to me any more.  She had me for a student for 2 years, and she missed an opportunity of a life time.

 As an Youth Ambassador for Tourette’s Association,  I have an opportunity of a life time.  I get to make a difference in the lives of other kids, who may be like my friend Jessie was, too scared to ask questions, and not having enough courage to stand up and tell other kids not to tease me.  I get the opportunity to help other kids understand what it is like to have Tourette’s Syndrome.  I get to help teachers understand how they can make a difference at a critical point in a kids life.  You get a chance to make a choice, and either way you choose there is a consequence, good or bad.  This is my chance to make a difference and help other people change.

 Here are some fun facts about me-  I have gotten a 4.0 so far this year as a freshman in High School.  I am  working on my getting my Eagle Scout award by the end of 2010.  I ran Cross Country for Milford High School this past year.  I was chosen for the District 14 Honors Choir, and performed with them in December.  I really love Music, and the best part is I don’t tic very much when I am singing, running, or swimming.  Even better,  my teachers at Milford High School, are excited to have me in class, and I don’t have to sit in the corner by myself because I have Tourette’s Syndrome.  My friends know and like me just the way I am, tics and all.  So it is true,  you learn from the past, and the future is always brighter.  I am glad life isn’t based on the things that happened in 4th Grade.