We had a presentation yesterday at Sayler Park Elementary in Cincinnati. It was really cool driving into town. It reminded my mom and I of where we used to live when I was little, as we refer to it, the Brinker house. I was neat to see all the old historic homes, and the school was cool. Sayler Park Elementary (the building) is like 82 years old. Awesome! Even better is the fact that they are going to remodel and renovate the whole school to keep it’s history in the community. You can tell it is a town with a lot of history and tradition.
I got to meet with the 6th grade class there, with my friend Bruce. We have a tag team approach to our presentations. He showed the movie, I Have Tourette’s but Tourette’s Doesn’t Have Me” it is the TSA Documentary done about kids, from their perpective. It is always interesting to see what kids think after they watch the movie. This particular class was a bit sleepy, (it was early in the morning) I was sleepy too. I answered questions about what it was like to have Tourette’s Syndrome hoping to give the kids an idea of what it is like to live with this disorder, but also to help them see it’s not really that big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be, if we all behave ourselves.
I found it interesting one of the questions that came from a kid was, “Did I get into fights because of my Tourette’s?” I have gotten into fights with other kids when I was younger but realized that wasn’t the right way to handle teasing. My parents and I worked out different ways to talk about my Tourette’s Syndrome, and tics, and role played a lot of how to handle the bullies which helped a lot. I wanted other kids to realize also that it is important to stand up for what is right and for other kids that get picked on too. I think the most hurtful thing for me is when other kids have picked on me, and teased me and other kids have ignored what was going on, or even worse, kids I thought were my friends didn’t step up to defend or help me. I think it takes a lot of courage to stand up for someone else.
One our drive back home, my mom reminded me of an incident where I got in a fight on the bus with a kid who had been teasing and mocking me for days, and wouldn’t let up. He was embarassing me in front everyone on the bus. The Bus Driver didn’t notice what was going on, and the school was still working on figuring out what to do about the situation. (I had been telling the Vice principal everyday after I got off the bus) One day I took my cell phone and recorded what the kid was saying to me on the bus so that the Vice Principal would believe what I was saying. By the end of the week, the kid got into my face. He was saying awful things and I got so mad and frustrated, I punched him in the face. He punched me back. Man, did that hurt. I shoved him, and got off 2 stops early so I wouldn’t do anything else. I was so mad. Guess what happened? I went home and told my mom what I had done. I was so frustrated and mad. My mom felt bad for me, and we had a big long talk. I remember her telling me, something like this, “I am so sorry everything you have been doing hasn’t worked. I honestly don’t blame you for punching the kid in the face, because I probably would have done the same thing, although it’s not the way we should handle things. I have felt like punching people several times in my life. We will call the Vice Principal and get this all figured out, and stopped. But you do realize, regardless of feeling justified in punching the kid, we have to accept our consequences for our actions which may mean we will be suspended from school or something like that?” My parents did call the school, and we got things taken care of with the other kid. I did get 1 day in school suspension, and the other kid got 3 days. This seemed fair to me, because he got kicked off the bus also after I played my recording for the school and them watching the video from the bus.
My point to telling this story is because I really learned a lesson that day from my parents. We could have fought the whole suspension thing, but they wanted to teach me a good lesson also, that there are natural consequences for your actions regardless of your disability. My consequence for punching someone, and not moving seats was getting suspended. The other kid had a worse consequence. To me it seemed worth it. I hope kids understand that fighting isn’t the answer, I am not telling you to do that. I know that when you have Tourette’s though, there are times, where your brain just freezes, and that little switch goes off, and you kind of go into the zone, or as my parents say, MELTDOWN MODE. There are different things that set you off, for no apparent reason, and you can’t help what happens. BUT you are responsible for what you do during that time whether you remember or not. I have gotten so mad that I have punched and kicked holes in the walls at home, or slammed doors, and made holes in the wall, when I am in the middle of my RAGES. Guess what I get to do when I calm down and see the damage I have done? I get to use my hard earned money, and buy patch kits, and patch the holes in the wall, that I made. I don’t remember getting that mad and doing that, but it is there after so I know that have to be responsible and fix it. If I hurt someone in my family, then I have to make sure I apologize for my behavior, and mend the relationship, or when the next time, when I can feel it coming on and I am in a difficult situation, I need to take the opportunity to excuse myself, and take an “OUT” as we say, before it goes too far. This I have learned has saved me more times than ever.
I would hate to think that kids use their Tourette’s as an excuse to get away with bad behavior, and excuse themselves for doing awful things. I think that is what gives Tourette’s Syndrome a bad name.
Thanks Kids at Sayler Park, for the questions, and letting us come chat with you. I hope you learned something new, like we all have quirky little things we do, some have a few more than others.
